The traditional idea that most men are attracted to and prefer passive, soft, fragile and feminine women and are put off by powerful intelligent women came into question, and researchers wanted to see if there was any truth to it.
In movies, in magazines, and on TV shows, men are portrayed as always going after the soft, sensitive and compliant women, rather than seeking out strong alpha women. The 1950’s style ideas that men want a compliant and obedient woman to come home to each day, who makes them dinner on time while giving them a kiss on the cheek… haven’t we grown out of that as a culture? This study had some interesting findings on the subject:
Researchers from the University of Buffalo California Lutheran University, and the University of Texas at Austin confirmed in their study that men indeed have fragile egos when it comes to dating women who are more intelligent than they are.
In their revealing study, 105 male participants were read a hypothetical scenario in which a woman either outperformed or underperformed them in a math or English course, and then in a series of questions they found out if the men would consider the woman as a dating partner or not.
They found that the majority of the men initially said that they thought they were more attracted to intelligent women; as the study reported, “Men formed favorable impressions and showed greater interest in women who displayed more (versus less) intelligence than themselves.”
BUT, during the second part of the study, a bit more of their true nature was revealed.
In the second part of the study, the men were given what they were told was an intelligence test, and afterwards they were to meet a woman who had either scored better or worse than they had on the test. The men who were told they were about to meet a more intelligent woman “distanced themselves more from her, tended to rate her as less attractive, and showed less desire to exchange contact information or plan a date with her,” when compared to meeting a woman who they thought scored lower than them, the study said.
So when it was a conceptual idea, the participants said intelligent women were more attractive, but when it came to a real life situation, the women who scored higher than them were actually deemed as less favorable.
The study concluded that, “Men showed greater attraction toward women who displayed more (vs. less) intelligence than themselves. In contrast, when targets were psychologically near, men showed less attraction toward women who outsmarted them.”
The reason, the researchers concluded, is that men feel that their masculinity is threatened when having a live interaction and a real conversation with a woman who is more intelligent than themselves. “Feelings of diminished masculinity accounted for men’s decreased attraction toward women who outperformed them in the live interaction context,” the researchers wrote.
To feel powerful, men think they need to feel that they are the best and are in control. But when a potential mate proves to be more intelligent than them, their self-esteem goes down along with their confidence and level of attraction to the other.
The findings from their study seem to indicate that after all, men really are threatened by powerful, intelligent and independent women. A woman who knows her stuff is apparently dangerous to the male ego, and they seek to protect their image by distancing themselves from women who shine a bit brighter intellectually.
Researchers do state that they want to do more research to confirm their conclusions, but their findings do indeed agree with the findings from previous studies. One such study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 2013 found that men experienced lower self-esteem in the face of the success of their wives or girlfriends.
If you’re an intelligent, strong alpha woman who’s still single, realize that there is nothing wrong with you. You’ve achieved a high level of intelligence, and likely a lot of potential suitors have felt threatened that you know more than they do.
Of course not all men are the same, and it’s important to remember that, but it’s worth noting that the majority of men really do have fragile egos and become distant in the face of intelligent women.
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